Grounded tantrums

Do you remember when you were younger and would be told you were grounded? A time-out? Maybe even go to your room to get your thoughts in order or to simply “cool down”? 

Well, when we were kids, we grew out of two things: tantrums and the idea of being grounded. These two things involved finding a sense of self-control and regrouping to become centered and objective rather than irrational about the situation.

However, I think that as we grow older, we begin to redefine these terms without them having such a negative connotation but rather a more positive view of how we would react to situations and how we would manage them. As I was speaking on the phone with my mom, the term “grounded” clicked and I had an understanding, or maybe a shift in perspective of what that term means. 

For one, I found that tantrums - or those extreme expressions we had when we were upset - were a form of having an outlet for the emotions and things we were feeling. This is viewed as something negative as a kid, but when we grow up, we shift it as we regain self-control and learn the places and people we can have those tantrums with. The term tantrum shifts to being the times when we vent with other people about things that are going on or when we choose to do an extreme sport or activity to let the energy out of our system, and simply have an outlet to express ourselves. On the other hand, there is this idea of being grounded - which was the time-out we would get when we would behave badly, do something that was not right, or even have one of those tantrums that were not appropriate or acceptable. Being grounded was supposed to be that time when you reflected on your actions, came to understand and contemplated your behaviour. However, as we grew older, maybe as a teenager, we would rebel and reject this idea as we would be told to take that time to reflect, in a way feeling forced to think that we had done something bad. Regardless of it being seen in that way when we were teenagers, we started to also shift that perspective of being grounded while we started to venture into our own lives without an adult telling us to reflect, but rather choosing to do it ourselves. This idea of being grounded changed from being something negative to what we now consider “me-time”, or the moment when we choose to regroup and ground ourselves when things get chaotic. 

I have recently started to find this “me-time” or being grounded a priority in finding a sense of balance, especially when things start to get overwhelming. I tell myself that it is important to give myself time to reflect and be in tune with my state rather than allowing things to bottle up as I used to. Just like the tantrums or wanting to vent, I found that by having that moment to yourself, it is also finding that outlet where you can express yourself and release the bottled-up or sudden intense emotions that you have more healthily. These two concepts go hand-in-hand as they have allowed me to understand that having tantrums (or outlets) is necessary, and having that moment where you are grounded (or “me-time”) is vital to staying in balance with yourself and aligned with the life you are living, regardless of the chaos that is around or the overwhelming every-day tasks that one has. But it took me a while to understand that having a tantrum is actually a good thing and being grounded as well. You give yourself a chance to find ways to best express and recharge yourself in moments where you would once feel as though you were going hysterical or very sensitive. 

So, I ask you, have you had a tantrum recently? Have you grounded yourself and given yourself time to reflect? 

Z.