What guides you?

I think one of the things that drives us to keep going is guidance—not necessarily knowing exactly where we’re headed, but having the reassurance that we’re heading in the right direction.

I found myself reflecting on the different ways I allowed myself to be guided, often focusing on what others might say or suggest, letting them make decisions for me. In a way, it was comforting when things worked out, but when they didn’t, it was disappointing. It often led to me shifting the blame, passing the torch to the person I had followed, and asking them for a solution.

Having gone through a period of readjustment, I found it fascinating as I searched for guidance—inner guidance, specifically. It was as though I began to detach from my dependence on others’ suggestions and started turning inward. That’s when the real shift began. I had to hold myself accountable and rely on myself. This aspect of inner guidance can be difficult, especially when you’ve relied on reassurance from others to feel like you’re doing the right things. But in doing so, I realized it had been limiting me from exploring new opportunities because I was too afraid to go it alone.

Separating oneself from others isn’t about isolation—it’s about independence and self-reliance. It’s about building trust in yourself and allowing your intuition to guide you in what feels right or wrong. I had been relying far too much on other people’s opinions, seeking validation rather than simply trusting my own truth.

Recently, I shared my story with someone, and they responded with pity. Oddly enough, I quickly became aware of their reaction, but it gave me a strange sense of comfort. I found myself leaning into my own truth and my own story, rather than seeking pity or relying on the victimization and dependency I had clung to for so long. Taking accountability and control of my life has made me feel more empowered. It’s given me the chance to separate someone else’s response from what I’ve worked so hard to understand about myself.

I found stability and serenity in trusting myself and my voice. I could have held onto that person’s pity and used it as an excuse to feel sorrow for myself. But I had a choice: I could either stay trapped in the loop of seeking guidance from others, or I could trust and believe in myself more. This time, making the choice was easier, but before, I would have doubted myself—questioning if what I said was wrong or if my experiences were worse or better than I perceived them to be.

The guidance I had been seeking externally was actually holding me back from truly growing. I had been relying on the past to guide me, which, in itself, is a contradiction. True guidance comes from within—not by focusing on how the past has held us back, but by recognizing how we’ve grown and allowing the person we are now to guide us forward.

When we start to guide ourselves, there will be doubt, uncertainty, fear, and a sense of unknowing. That can drive us to revert to old patterns, seeking anything or anyone to reassure us. But when we take a step back, we might begin to realize that we actually can trust ourselves enough to make decisions that align with who we are.

Z.